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'You don't know me and you call me scum'

Cruelly snubbed for the PFA Player of the Year nominations by dunder-headed footballers who can't see true skill and class when it casually drifts past them to slap in yet another goal from midfield, you'd think Frank Lampard would have more important things on his plate than what LBC radio station's resident bellwhiff James O'Brien had to say about anything.

However, this gobby fool got more than he bargained for when he told his drooler listeners that said footballing hero is 'weak' and 'scum' after reading a story quoting his ex-girlfriend Elen Rives as saying: 'I text him to tell him I'm not coping, but he doesn't care. I cry to him on the phone but I get nothing from him. No emotion, just blank. He's a b*****d.'

Upon hearing this, on the anniversary of their mother's death, Lampard's sister called him to tell him what had happened, and he let loose on O'Brien live on air, saying: 'You don’t know anything about me and you’re insinuating I’m weak and scum because I haven’t fought tooth and nail. The hardest part of this whole break up for me is not waking up with my kids every day.

'So before you start insinuating and calling people weak and scum on a radio station, getting on a high horse which you are, cos I hope one day that your wife or your girlfriend doesn’t come to you and say “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and unfortunately that means you wont see the kids for a few days a week. That would hurt you as well but you’d have to deal with it.' YEAH.

You can read the full transcript here, and listen to the phone call here. It's gold. Make sure you pay attention to the last question too – it's classic.

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