X-Factor round-up

So, it’s over: the karaoke comedy double act known as John & Edward (real name ‘Jedward’) have finally left the building. After what feels like years of dancing and crooning like a pair of dead cats on live telly the Irish twins were voted off after they found themselves in a bottom two showdown with Oly Murs.

The theme for this week was the songs of Wham! & George Michael (George was watching on Saturday night, apparently), and the Saturday live show was much of a non event with the remaining six hopefuls bashing out predictable cover versions. Jedward killed ‘I'm Your Man’ and Danyl Johnson successfully proved to the nation that he can sing ‘Careless Whisper’ an entire octave out of tune.

Much to everyone’s surprise Essex wideboy Oly Murs found himself in the bottom two on the Sunday results show with Jedward. Each performed a song of their choice (they said lying through their teeth) to try and stave off the inevitable eviction. Jedward performed a shocking version (to be kind) of Boyzone’s No Matter What’ while Olly sang a competent but cheddar cheese version of Eric Clapton’s ‘Wonderful Tonight’. There was only going to be one winner, and John & Edward said their goodbyes after the judges voted them off 3-1.

Also on the Sunday night results show the hairy angel herself Susan Boyle made her X-Factor debut singing an erotically charged (we’ve exaggerated that a little) version of her single ‘Wild Horses.’ Queen of the Divas Mariah Carey did a yawn-worthy performance of ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’.

So, we’re down to the final 5 hopefuls: Olly, Stacey, Danyl, Lloyd & Joe. They’ll be singing two songs each on next week's Saturday show while Rihanna will be the megastar using the X-Factor stage to plug her new single on the Sunday results show. What will we do with our lives when it's all over?

In the meantime, farewell Jedward! It’s been embarrassing!

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