Woah, cool it ladies

If you were one of the 2,868 people who complained to OFCOM about Rihanna and Cristina Aguilera's sizzling X Factor routines last year, then you'll be giving yourself a pat on the back today: Simon Cowell has vowed to turn the heat down on the bunsen burner. If on the other hand you were one of the 56,8344million other people who quite enjoyed watching Princess RiRi and Crissy do their worst on the pre watershed family talent show, you'll be less likely to tune in to this year's run. That'll take care of the sudden spike in the 25-35 male demographic then…..

If you can't muster a mental vision of the performances in questions, here's a quick recap. Aguilera wore a teeny black dress and writhed around with suspender clad backing dancers who were, wait for it - bent over chairs. Sounds energetic. Rihanna on the other hand summoned her innermost turbo-bum for a routine that OFCOM described as containing; 'some mildly sexual overtones and included images of her gyrating and rocking her buttocks'. Sound like pretty standard fare for today's breed of pop poster girl?

Simon Cowell has responded by saying that Aguilera and Rihanna will be sent to live in a nunnery. That's not true. According to the Daily Mail, what he really said was: 'I think based on the reaction we'd have to tone it down a bit.' Translation: 'bovvered'.

Given that only yesterday Mr Nasty doused his own image in sexy fuel and set it alight by admitting to a threesome, could double standards be at play here? It wouldn't be the first time that female popstars have been told to cover up while their boy counterparts are allowed to carry on gyrating like it's 2009.

In other Factor news, Simon says he doesn't think he's fallen out with Cheryl over the whole X Factor US debacle. But then he doesn't really know because he hasn't actually spoken to her. Poor Cheryl. Perhaps what she needs to ping her back into the headlines is a raunchy pre watershed X Factor routine.....

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