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We're sorry Coleen

The parents of Jenny Thompson, the prostitute who it was revealed that had been paid £1,200 a time for sex sessions with Wayne Rooney, have released a statement apologising to Coleen Rooney for the damage she has done to her marriage. It seems to us like it’s really Wayne Rooney who may have ruined their marriage, but there you go.

Oil Company engineer Hamish Thompson and his wife Danuta said that they had no idea that their daughter was a hooker, and that they will be dealing with the scandal away from the glare of the press.

‘Following various newspaper articles concerning our daughter Jennifer, we would like to offer our most sincere apologies to Coleen Rooney and her family,’ the pair said. ‘This may sound somewhat hollow but my wife and I would never condone what has or may have happened.

‘We had absolutely no idea about any of the allegations. Jennifer is our daughter and we love her and we will deal with this matter as a family, not via the media. The last few days have been extremely trying.’

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