Traditional British names under threat

It's time to save the Great British name. Normans, Gertrudes and Ednas--once mainstays of this nation--are dying out in their droves leaving us awash with Jacks and Olivias.

Baby-naming site Gurgle warned that unless steps were taken, vital Grandad and Grandma names like Walter and Ethel will be as extinct as the dodo by mid-century.

So what's to be done? Well babies' names are often led by celebrities so we suggest a new law. The next time the Beckhams or the Cruises or whoever drop a celebrity sprog, it should be a legal requirement that the child is named Percy... or Ada... or even Nora.

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