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Total ring-job

And what if she did try to palm her tim-nice-but-dim hubby off with a $59 ring? Jordan is a shrewd businesswoman with a nose for a bargain. Hands up who expected anything less? Okaaay, hands down.

The bemused shopkeeper who sold them the rings claimed that the pragmatic boob-job wanted the cheapest symbol of her affection there was going. Then, when Alex asked her advice on style she quipped; 'You should decide because you're the one that's going to have to wear it.' The ring buying was 'businesslike' and 'unromantic'. He eventually bought himself a £2,200 steel ring.

Did you see that coming? We thought that the romantic statement the pair put out saying they tied the knot for love and not a magazine deal (the old romantics) was evidence enough of their devotion. Oh - that. Actually, they did get a million pound magazine deal. They scrimped on the rings until they were sure the big money was coming in then called in the lapdancers.

Pete, read and weep - for joy.

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