Tom Cruise banned from Top Gun sequel

Good news just in. Those unpleasant rumours about Tom Cruise reprising his role as Maverick in a Top Gun sequel have been pummelled into dust.

Paramount have confirmed that they will be jumping on the bad 80s sequel wagon, but won't be taking Cruise with them. In fact there's 'no way' he's getting in even a toes inch of a main plot line - if - and if anything, The Cruise Missile will be confined to a symbolic cameo.

The studio have realised that asking women to be attracted to an arrogant, talentless, rumoured to be playing for the other team, smarmy, pint sized, ageing Scientologist is taking suspension of disbelief one step too far.

The plotline of the Top Gun sequel will centre on the new Maverick as a Top Gun instructor who has to reign in a gutsy female pilot. Obviously the only way to do this will be to take her to bed.

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