This Justin!

Justin Bieber, in Twitter language, is trending among the kids of today. Oh yes, they just can’t get enough of whatever it is the irritating tween does for a living, wrapping themselves in posters of the fresh-faced publicity machine while he coins in staggering fortunes that – if history is any indicator – will be spent heavily on booze and drugs within the next few years of child star meltdown.

Like all the others, he success is built on a squeaky clean image that no 16-year-old in the entire world would ever cultivate unless it involved huge sacks of cash, be we can exclusively reveal that Bieber is in fact an inhuman monster, who thinks nothing of dumping girls on on the phone. The humanity.

‘I have dumped a girl over the phone - it's terrible isn't it?’ said the superstar to Top Of The Pops magazine. ‘We got into an argument during a phone call so I basically said, ‘I don't wanna be with you any more’.’

‘She cried. I saw her after that and it was a bit awkward, but we're not enemies now, so that's cool. But I wouldn't recommend it, it's very mean!’ You beast.

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