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The wise one...

Simon Cowell is, at this very moment, on the horns of a dilemma - he's got about a million different shows to exec-produce in hundreds of different countries, and he can't even decide who should present them. And, to cap it all off, they all start shooting next week! What's a mogul to do? Seek advice from a wise sage, of course. And who is this profound advice-giver? Why, Louis Walsh of course. Eh?

A source (probably Louis himself) told The Sun, 'Louis has been getting lots of late-night phone calls from Simon. The stress of the US X Factor judging panel is getting to him. He knows people are sick of hearing about it and wants to get on with the nuts and bolts of announcing big names. The problem is, he still hasn't locked in any names yet. He's calling Louis as a sounding board, to get his opinion and give him the latest updates.'

'Dannii is panicking because she hasn't got a contract yet. She is in the UK to sort things out but is torn over the idea of settling down with her young family in Australia. Louis' job is safe though. He was campaigning for Sharon Osbourne to make a comeback but Simon told him not to waste his breath as it would never happen. 'Over my dead body', was the exact line.' And so the pointless hype continues...

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