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The end of the happy couple?

It had to happen sooner rather than later: yet another philandering footballer has been caught with his pants down, slithering his way around an expensive prostitute, and wondering how he will pick up the remains of his shattered relationship. Now that he’s been caught, of course. He’d have happily carried on had no-one got wind of his sordid little secret.

This time it’s potato-headed England striker Wayne Rooney, who has finally been revealed to have been conducting a four-month affair with 21-year-old Jenny Thompson, shelling out thousands of pounds in the process. Best of all, the Manchester United superstar informed his wife of the fact it was going to appear in the papers (presumably after fighting tooth and nail for an injunction) via the medium of text messaging. Classy. Understandably his wife and mother of his child Coleen is less than happy, with one friend saying to The Mirror that ‘the most shocking thing was that he told her as if he was delivering the weather forecast. He made out that the whole thing was no big deal and it was just boys being boys.’

‘She's so upset and doesn't know what to think,’said another pal of the poor girl’s to The Sun. ‘The last thing she wants is more and more women coming out of the woodwork like poor Cheryl Cole had to endure. Coleen and Wayne were supposed to attend a family christening this weekend but they didn't show up.

‘We found out Coleen had been getting her hair done on Saturday when Wayne texted her to break the news. He's a coward for hiding behind a text message, especially when they'd been together earlier that day.’

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