That woman is a disgrace

Can you remember the time when you were a 13-year-old boy, full of curious feelings for the previously lergy-infested opposite sex? Maybe you had a picture of a boobs-out model on your wall, and spent large portions of your day self-abusing to such a degree that your Catholic guilt stabbed you like a thousand knives? Oh, that was just us? Ok then.

Well, at least we can imagine being a little bit less sappy about being flirted with by a sexually intimidating older woman, like Jack McBirney, who has run off to the tabloids after being given this saucy message from Katie Price in a copy of her latest book: ‘To Jack and wet dreams. Jordan.’ Just a few moments previously she asked the teenage hormone bucket, who appears to have a thing for collecting autographs: ‘are you staring at my tits?’

‘That woman is a disgrace,’ said Jack’s outraged full-time carer Shirley Williams. ‘Jack is 13 for heaven's sake. Imagine a grown man leaving a sex message for a girl that age. They would be arrested. She is a mother and should know better. Jack looks his age - he is very obviously a young teenage boy and it was wrong. People should think twice about letting children go to a Katie Price book signing.’

‘I waited for ages to see her and when I walked up she asked if I was looking at her chest,’ said the boy/man himself. ‘I wasn't at all. I just wanted an autograph. I got Patrick Moore and Brian May's autographs from book signings and they never wrote anything rude. She asked me what I wanted her to write. I said I didn't mind and she put the thing about wet dreams. I was very surprised.’

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