Step back, hippies!

Some celebrity rows are, despite their inherent emptiness and pointlessness, at least good for a few juicy quotes. You might have Plan B give Kanye West what for, for instance, or some reality star or other say something rude about someone; it sucks some of your soul away, but at least there’s something.

Over the last few days, a row so boring, so utterly devoid of any point at all has broken out, that it has to be commented on. Really, really hot American socialite and model Kim Kardashian was criticised by anti-science hippies PETA for holding a cat by the scruff of the neck and posting the pic on Twitter, saying ‘Kim Kardashian isn't the only person who mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn't needed.’

Of course, PETA are completely wrong, and were probably just upset a poor liddle ciddy cat wasn’t being bathed in petals and fed nothing but the finest in lentil cuisine, and to prove that here’s KK herself, explaining just why it is they should keep their noses out of it and stick to telling children to stop drinking milk.

‘I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up,’ said the improbably attractive Kardashian, ramming it down the hippy’s throats. ‘The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals.’ So there.

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