Sorry Simon, I'd rather have Cheryl

We’ve already had one story about Cheryl Cole (it turns out she is keeping her ex-husband’s name – WTF?) today and we’ve already had another story about Katy Perry as well, so we thought; ‘why not combine the two most on-trend pop girls in the country right now for the making of a mega celeb/pop story? The kids will love that.’

So it’s just as well that Katy Perry has pretended that she might be interested in some Sapphic action with our precious English Rose, as otherwise we’d never have come up with any way of combing the two in such a smart, media savvy way. Phew. She might have to fight off Black Eyed Peas’ Fergie, mind you.

‘Nobody should be as beautiful as she is,’ said Perry of her X factor co-judge. ‘I know people get turned on by Simon's power but if I was single I'd rather sleep with Cheryl.’ We don’t think many straight women would disagree with you there, Katy.

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