Skating ability 'virtually extinct'

It's a dark day for skating fans the world over, as last night, Kerry Katona was voted off Dancing on Ice. The lairy star wept as Pip Schofield broke the news that she was to be sent home, while lesser slebs such as Chloe Madeley, lived to skate another day.

According to The Daily Mail Kerry told her fans, 'It's been more than a skating competition. I want to thank the public for voting, my kids are proud, massive thank you for Daniel for his patience.' Kerry's partner said - lying through his teeth,'It's been a journey, Kerry's been a brilliant friend and to me, Kerry's my winner.'

Meanwhile, Jason Gardner cemented his status as TV's meanest judge, saying 'What tonight proves, Kerry, is that, unequivocally, your skating ability is on the endangered species list because it's virtually extinct.'

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