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Simon taking her down the Cowell?

For some reason we never had the dark overlord of prime-time TV down as a marrying man. We pictured him more as the sort of guy who, as an octagenerian, would still swank around St Tropez tucking fifty euro notes into ladies underwear. We now realise this was a wildly unfair view. For Simon Cowell is in love and, according to the Daily Mail is on the brink of getting married to his girlfriend of six months, Mezghan Hussainy after blowing a cool quarter of a million quid on her engagement ring.

A friend told the Daily Mail, 'Simon loves Mezghan, it's as simple as that. He's an incredibly instinctive person and this is just right. When he turned 50 in October, he was forced to evaluate things and really think about what he wanted from life. Mezghan has been by his side for months now, she cared for him the other week when he was so sick he was forced to miss Britain's Got Talent auditions. This is something that Simon isn't telling many people, but they are engaged. Mezghan is a great girl and extremely down to earth.'

And Cowell told Piers Morgan during filming for a TV interview, 'She's the one. She's very special. You know when you've found somebody very special.I think I need to have little Simons around.'

A distinctly terrifying prospect. Why is it that we can suddenly hear the music from the Omen?

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