Simon Cowell cuts down role in X Factor

It has been confirmed that Simon Cowell will not be appearing on the new series of The X Factor, ending a relationship that has brought literally days of scowling and tutting into the lives of the British viewing public.

ITV boss Peter Fincham confirmed that Cowell will be toning down his involvement in the show after weeks of tabloid rumours that he was quitting the glorified karaoke contest, but he deneed that the media mogul would be leaving on a permanent basis, saying that he would be an ‘enormous presence backstage’ and would be on-screen at the later, more dramatic periods of the show. Which basically means that he’s not going to be doing the thing that most of us watch the show for: gleefully insulting talentless members of the British public, and picking on the mentally ill.

‘We have been in constant negotiations with Simon about ways in which we can move things forward and help The X Factor evolve,’ Fincham said in a statement. ‘We have been aware that his on-screen ¬involvement in this series will not be as great as ¬previous years for months now. It is something that we are ¬completely ¬comfortable with.

‘We are talking to him about ways he can have an on-screen presence later in the show. He will not be a weekly judge, but he will be an enormous presence backstage as always.

‘Some of the speculation about us pleading with Simon to be a judge makes me smile. I constantly hear we are in crisis but in reality we have an amazingly constructive relationship with Simon and are very much reading from the same page.’

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