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Show's over folks

Could we fall any deeper in love with Cheryl Cole? Not only is she our favourite X Factor judge, Girl Aloud, WAG, Geordie, crumpet, girl and, er, human - (we're running out of ideas here) she shall now also be known as the most altruistic warbler on the planet. A quickie divorce from Cashley has seen her walking away empty handed from the union because, wait for it - she doesn't want to jeopordise England's World Cup chances. Cue collective national sigh. Cheryl's hardworking PR team spun the gesture into soundbite gold:

'Cheryl made a swift decision to put England's World Cup dreams ahead of herself. The divorce should be finalised before England's first touch of the ball in South Africa on June 12. She knows how vital it is for Ashley to have a completely clear head and concentrate entirely on his football and performance, with no distractions or emotional pulls. She wants a completely clean break with no malice or wrangling over property or money. Cheryl will not take one penny of Ashley's money.'

Stirring stuff. And as if that wasn't enough - a parting blow. 'Crucially, people expected her to request their Surrey mansion as part of the divorce terms. But the house means nothing to her. She only moved there because it was important for them to be near Ashley's training ground. Cheryl is giving the house to him.'

Go team Cheryl! (Are we still doing that?)

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