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'Shampoo causes cancer' claims Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow, one half of an away with the fairies multi-millionaire celebrity hippy know-nothing couple, has stupidly announced to the world that there is a link between shampoo and cancer in children. Thankfully someone who knows what they're talking about – a scientist – has given her the verbal slapping she deserves. Here's what she pooed out onto her blog, Goop.

'Foetuses, infants and toddlers are basically unable to metabolize toxins the way that adults are, and we are constantly filling our environments with chemicals that may or may not be safe.' Hmmmmm, we'll give you the second part.

'The research is troubling; the incidence of diseases in children such as asthma, cancer and autism have shot up exponentially and many children we all know and love have been diagnosed with developmental issues like ADHD.' Which has exactly what to do with Shampoo?

Anyway, Hugh Pennington, who is a emeritus professor of bacteriology at Aberdeen University, gave her a piece of his mind: 'It does annoy me when celebrities use their position to spout nonsense. They have a perfect right to their views, even if they are loopy, but they do hold a position of influence. You may as well ask someone on the Underground.' YEAH.

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