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Seriously love, I'm driving

As well as being terrible teases, with their big fat LIES about being secretly desperate to tear their clothes off and get down and funky with other chicks, everyone knows that women cannot drive. It might be the stock material of a sweaty racist 70s stand-up, but you all know it’s true. Don’t deny it.

Anyway, after that inflammatory and frankly sexist opening paragraph, now for the related news: F1 Lewis ace Lewis Hamilton is apparently more scared of being in a car with his missus Nicole Scherzinger than his is whizzing round an race track at ridiculous speeds, and who can blame him; she drives with her knees while she’s doing her make-up. Typical.

‘He's more afraid when I'm driving than he is during a race,' she said (SEE, they're all maniacs - Ed). 'He gives me pointers, but at the end of the day he's like, ‘Babe, you're driving with your knees!’ I'm doing my make-up and changing the radio.’

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