Rylan Clark wins Celebrity Big Brother

As the door to one tacky TV opportunity slams, another swings open. Rylan Clark, the loud-mouthed X Factor loser, was the first to parlay talent show notoriety into celeb reality show success when he emerged from the Big Brother house as winner of Channel 5’s Celebrity BB. In your face Cowell.

Celebrity Big Brother has been spectacularly camp this year, and came down to a final three showdown between Rylan, Spencer and Heidi, none of whom would come remotely close to fulfilling the criteria for proper "celebrity" but let’s not get too sniffy.

Spencer and Heidi, whoever they are and frankly who cares, were mightily unpopular with the public, although that didn’t seem to prevent them staying until the end. Rylan’s popularity obviously increases substantially when the public doesn’t have to hear him sing, and he emerged in tearful triumph.

His gushing conversation with host Brian Dowling was pitched at an emotional level that suggested he had just won an Olympic gold medal and a Nobel Prize combined rather than floating to the top of a particularly rancid D-list pond gathered for Channel 5’s under-watched bout of celebrity voyeurism.

With plenty of other opportunities for celebrities to parade their egos these days, from Dancing On Ice through Strictly to Celebrity Bake-Off, Big Brother has become the last refuge of the desperate. This year’s line-up, apart from X Factor rejects, featured long-retired footballer Neil Ruddock, a Neighbours actor and a former member of forgotten popsters Steps. And they were the ones we had heard of.

"For the past year all people have been doing is picking up a phone for me and I so appreciate it with all my heart," Rylan said. Yes, he’s the man who has turned the UK into one huge call centre. Let’s hope his thirst for fame has now been sated and he can return quietly to obscurity.

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