Excite

Russell Brand banging on again about er, banging

If there's one thing you could rely on Russell Brand for, it's a healthy dose of sexual metaphors, and a not so healthy dose of STD's for the lucky girl. We joke of course! And anyway, that's all in the past, as Brand is a reformed, caring, new man - ready for his nuptuals with Katy Perry.

Russell said wistfully, 'When I was at my most promiscuous, I was like a charging locomotive. My selection process was outsourced. I had a team of experts who took care of finding women for me. They had very specific instructions. It was as if I was talking to a wine steward – ‘I'm looking for something French, a bit fruity, smells of oak. I’ve reached a point in my life where I understand empirically that this is not the answer. When you sleep with loads of women, it becomes a bit pointless and futile.'

Anyone else getting a bit fatigued by Brand's constant - 'i'm such a hot blooded man, i'm a devil in bed, and I know long words too' schtick? Just us? Oh, okay then...

United Kingdom - Excite Network Copyright ©1995 - 2018