Ramsay is a do*che

All right-thinking people will be delighted to hear that righteous graffiti artists have targeted TV bully and professional swearer Gordon Ramsay’s house, telling anyone who needs to know that a) ‘Gordon is sh*t’ and b) ‘Ramsay is a douche’. Both things which happen to be true, so good on them. The only thing they got wrong was that they daubed the insults on the wrong bleeding house.

Anyway, tabloid reports suggest that he might be ‘lost for words for once’, rather than mildly peeved that some people did bad graffiti on someone else’s property. A tip for any future efforts: get the address right and do something artistic like a huge penis with the name Gordon Ramsay scrawled on it, or maybe a macabre image of him being slow roasted in an oven, hands pressed up against the inside of the door a desperate, futile bid to escape. And, er enough of that for a while.

‘Gordon will go ballistic that someone has targeted him in this way on his own doorstep,’ said a friend of his to The Sun. ‘Sure he dishes out foul language, but it's to people's faces and they have every opportunity to shout back.’ No they don’t, friend-of-Gordon, they’re heavily shouted down by the man who wields all the power in the on-screen discourse and they are also at the mercy of the editing suite.

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