Put a Mayer in it

We love some of John Mayer's tunes - alright, only Body is a Wonderland - but his inability to keep his mouth shut in interviews? We love that so much more.

John, in case you didn't know is a bit of a wally. He has bedded a lot of women, many of them famous, but he's not very good at adhering to the no talking to the tabloids rule that VIPS swear by. Case in point: the Playboy March issue in which he describes Jessica Simpson as 'sexual napalm' and a 'drug.' That's squeaky clean, Baptist reared, virgin till married Jessica Simpson....

'Drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them... Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f**king snort you?' Erm, no, we didn't John, but we may use it as a future chat up line.

And what about Jennifer Aniston - did John ever mention that he dumped her because she was too old and boring? Allow him: 'Have you ever loved somebody, loved her completely, but had to end the relationship for life reasons? (Erm, no.) 'In some ways I wish I could be with her. But I can’t change the fact that I need to be 32...But 32 just comes roaring out of me at points when I don’t see it coming. I want to dance. I want to get on an airplane and be like a ninja. I want to be an explorer. I want to be like The Bourne Identity. I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.'

Mr Mayer has since realised people think he's a twit: cue some serious tweeting: 'it's gotten out of hand and I've created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don't have the stomach for it.'

John, time to invest in a gag?

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