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Playing house

Now that the press have got their claws into Arnold Schwarzenegger’s private life, they’re going to keep scratching away until they reveal every mucky little they can scrape up. So you’ve been harbouring a mistress and a secret love child on your payroll? Give us some more juice Arnie, or we’ll be back to find it ourselves. Geddit? We’ll be back?

Anyway, The Sun have somehow managed to track down the $200,000 house he bought for housekeeper Mildred Baena In Bakerfield, California, a full hundred miles away from his LA mansion. The house was bought ten months ago as a ‘retirement gift’ for her 20 years of service. They even managed to get a quote from the wife of the man who designed the house.

‘Now I think about it I can see the resemblance,’ said their neighbour Marty Steelman, after being door-stepped by some grizzled hack. ‘It's amazing to think Arnold Schwarzenegger's son has been living in the house next door to us all this time.’

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