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Piers Morgan: Simon Cowell is a shortarse

Behind every powerful man in the media there's a.....? Height issue.

Ferociously bitchy telly pundit Piers Morgan has spoken about a little trick Simon Cowell plays on Britain's Got Talent to make himself look taller and more assuming - he piles cushions on his chair. Much like a very small person driving a car who needs an extra little boost to get to the wheel, vertically challenged Cowell feels he needs the extra inches in order to seem more authorative on screen.

Piers blabbed to The London Blog at an event in Brick Lane last night ; "If you look carefully, Simon grows between shows. When we’re on Britain’s Got Talent he’s smaller then me, then suddenly his three pillows arrive and he’s taller than me.” By now on a jolly roll, Piers also joined the ever growing list of men to consider The Tweedmonster the most genetically perfect human being in the world. "Cheryl is perfect in every way, except one – she married an arse of a husband!"

It's refreshing to see someone getting into the real spirit of reality TV, i.e drivelly, bitchy soundbites which inadvertently fan the hype of your show while making you look like the only arse not on it.

Never really works though.

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