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P45 in the post

Poor Jesus. The childbride who almost became the third Mr Madonna has been ejected from his throne. In a move that absolutely no one but the Queen of Pop saw coming, the unlikely pair have called it quits after a year. Apparently, it became boring and, apart from celebrity religion Kaballah they had 'nothing in common'. Surprisingly, it was Jesus who put the stoppers on it. (Though that's probably completely untrue.)

Aaanyway, we're surprised they made it this far. People are of course scrabbling to blame the 28 ton elephant in the room, but is there another reason for the split? Like, neither Jesus or TQOP are very interesting? The evidence:

Madge is so beguiling she only ever speaks through her long suffering publicist Liz Rosenberg; boring if you want to have an actual conversation with her.

Jesus only speaks through his mother who then speaks to the tabloids; boring if you want to have an actual conversation with him.

Overall verdict: boring.

All things considered, this pair had a pretty good innings...

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