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Oh, the Lind-sanity...

Poor Lindsay Lohan - if life wasn't hard enough, what with being in the slammer, and having 80% of the Western world, including Joan Rivers, picking over your melodramatic travails for comic material - her dad has now decided to say sorry. Great, you might be thinking, that apology is long overdue. However, Michael Lohan has chosen to make his apology in the form of an 80s rock ballad.

Here are the lyrics in all their awful glory, 'I see you look away, you heard the stories and the lies, but if you need me dear, my love for you is alive. Always daddy's little girl, a smile that never fades, but now so far from me, with only faith to light the way. Raised you to understand, all the good in life, somehow I lost my way, should've taken my advice.'

Lindsay, there's nothing for it - strap on your fender stratocaster and pen a riposte...

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