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No.you.Will.not

Poor old Will.i.am; you can almost hear his little heartstrings twanging louder with every passing moment. Safely ensconced in the friend zone, it looks as though he’s finally turned himself into the eunuch that Cheryl Cole clearly sees. Not only has he been devoting his time to a woman who is clearly not interested in his love action, he’s now having the royal p*ss ripped out of him by his bandmates, and even his backing dancers. The shame.

The soon-to-be-ex Cole has been touring with the Black Eyed Peas as a support act, and in between shows Will has been spending a lot of time in his mobile studio with her. This has prompted the rest of the band to start singing ‘Will and Cheryl, sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g’. How very, very humiliating.

‘Between shows the slog of touring is a dull business,’ said some source to The Sun. ‘Cheryl's presence has spiced things up during the first two nights in Dublin. Everyone has been teasing Will and Cheryl about being an item and generally ripping the p***. It's playground stuff.

‘The backing dancers have been getting in on the act with the most childish stuff. Will has a mobile studio with him and he and Cheryl are planning to spend even more time in there making music during the 17 upcoming UK and European dates. So the ribbing is only going to continue.

‘Cheryl's been laughing about it though, saying Will is more like a brother and he's simply been showing off new beats.’

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