Not the daddy

Yes, SyCo is an altruisic old svengali afterall. The telly-lord says he'll be saving a future generation from the acid tongued put-downs of his own clone because he's too ancient for procreation (ooh, that kind of rhymes.) We wonder if Meghan knows about about this. Beware the zeal of the younger, fitter wife, Simon...

Check out Simon disclosing his feelings about the whole childrearing lark on Oprah. While the chat queen exudes her usual earnestness in the face of utterly banal questioning, Simon sips a cuppa and announces boredly, 'if only kids could be born at the age of five'. So there Opes. And yes, one Simon Cowell is definitely too much.

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