'No signs of improvement'

This is no time for puns, word play or snarky comments - Cheryl Tweedy/Cole (interestingly The Mirror goes for Cole, while The Sun uses Tweedy) is gravely ill in hospital, after contracting malaria while on holiday with her dancer 'beau' Derek. Cheryl has spent the last three nights in intensive care, and will need at least six months to recuperate.

A worried friend told The Sun, 'It is a lot more serious than first thought. Everyone thought she would pull through after 24 hours but there have been no signs of improvement. She is very ill and will not be out of hospital for a while. Everyone is holding their breath. Because of her hectic schedule, the malaria has really taken a hold. She has not got the physical strength to beat it. She is going to need all of her Geordie grit to win this battle. It isn't pretty. There are fears that because she is so delicate, permanent damage has been done to her liver. She is so tiny - the medication is hitting her hard.'

Come on Cheryl, summon your 'Geordie grit' - after all, we don't want a whole series of rubbish stand-in X Factor judges...

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