No sex please, I could have died

Ah it’s always good to have a bit of a joke while you’re at the doctors; laughter is the best medicine and all that, especially when you might die of a potentially fatal illness, right? Well ever since Cheryl Tweedy was struck down with malaria it’s been a giggle a minute round her way, especially since she’s been told there’s to be no boozing or monkey business until docs say otherwise.

According to The Sun, Tweedy’s high blood pressure means that she’s got to lay off the alcohol and rudies, which will annoy Will.i.am or Derek Hough, whoever of which eventually snags her. Let’s hope they sort that out and end this awful rumour mongering soon...

‘Cheryl managed to summon enough energy for a giggle when she was given the news about a sex ban,’ said some source to the tabloid. ‘It's the last thing on her mind right now. She has also been told to avoid alcohol for the coming weeks.

‘Will has been phoning Joan and Derek non-stop to find out how Cheryl is. He's also sent the most beautiful bunches of flowers. He's been desperate to see her but she hasn't been up to having visitors.

‘As soon as Joan said she was a lot better, he wasted no time arranging a visit. A load of people want to see her now she's recovering well, including her Girls Aloud bandmates.’

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