Nice birdie Tiger

Tiger Woods’ serial wick-dipping was uncovered by his wife Elin Nordegren’s snooping ways, according to The Sun, in a story that will surely terrify even the most discreet of cheating husbands. Tiger tried to pull the old ‘we’re just friends’ angle, even going as far as getting his wife and mistress (Rachel Uchitel) to talk to each other for half an hour, after which she convinced him that she thought their relationship was purely platonic. Nice try Tiger.

‘The next day, after Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cell phone,’ says the unnamed source the tabloid quotes. ‘There she found texts to Uchitel's number. One said, ‘You are the only one I've loved.’ Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger. Elin wrote, 'I miss you, when are we seeing each other again?' Uchitel texted back, surprised Tiger was awake. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger. Elin said something like, 'I knew it was you.' Uchitel's reply was 'Oh f***'. She hung up immediately.’

After that, Elin was convinced that her husband hadn’t only been playing golf while he was away, and as such decided to chase him with a golf club in hand, bleating about his wayward strokes. The rest as they say, is history. Now, isn’t that story emotionally and spiritually fulfilling?

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