Going to the next Babyshambles gig? Forget about grabbing a quick snakebite or lager and lime while you’re there.

According to reports, the legendarily excessive Pete Doherty has banned alcohol at his forthcoming series of concerts as part of his efforts to stay off drugs. We applaud Pete’s resolve and wish him luck, but we wonder: is this just the first step in the former Libertines frontman’s unlikely transformation into a health freak?

Next thing you know, he’ll be getting people to go out in the garden when they smoke, turning vegetarian and refusing to talk to anyone who eats Pot Noodle. He’s already talking about moving to the country to avoid temptation. We rest our case.