It seems Pete Doherty is willing to do anything to keep his rapidly deflating career full of hot air. The self-styled poet of the yoof – whose music is okay at best – has failed to make any kind of real artistic impression despite countless ‘secret’ gigs (which are always full of paparazzi), mediocre albums, forgettable singles and rambling appearances on talk shows. Did you see his spot on Jonathan Ross’ show recently? His predictable incoherence was easily eclipsed by the host’s fawning sycophancy. It was enough to make you heave.

Now Doherty is set to marry his Canadian model sweetheart. Kate Moss must be distraught. Not. In fact, she must be positively delighted to have that smelly-looking nincompoop out of her hair.

Pete – we don’t mind you living the rock star dream – thing is, you need to back it up with some cracking music. Over to you.