Mucca's scooped the jackpot. Four years of marriage to Paul McCartney and Heather Mills has notched up a 24.3million payout from the divorce settlement. 7.8 million of it 'personal fortune', and a whopping 16.5million shellout from the former Beatle - who must actually be vomiting in shock.

And little Beatrice might be throwing a wobbly too. The four year old only got a measly 35,000 a year allowance to live on - how do they expect the spawn of a millionaire to live on that!

So Mucca's jubilant. And Macca silent. Though does anyone really feel sorry for him? As Mills cold bloodedly put it, 'Everyone knows he's worth 800million' (and not the 400 million calculated by the judge). Which means even though the cunning Geordie has made off with a sizable chunk of the fortune - chances are Macca won't even notice it on his next bank statement.

The only possible silver lining for McCartney will be Heather sticking to her word and leaving the UK. But looks like he won't even be getting that. Mill's might have been in a royal huff about being labelled a gold digger by the British press, but her reputation's worth more than that, and she's sticking on UK shores until it's fixed. Which could take a veerry veeery long time.