Mucca and Macca, war of the Roses take two

Goodness me it certainly pays to marry an ageing rocker these days. Especially if you’re as light on your feet as Lady Mucca and manage to make it to the divorce courts before 4 years are even out. Just enough to pop a sprog, (nothing clinches a payout better), then it’s laughing all the way to the bank. Yep the McCartney – Mills divorce wrankle is set to be the biggest ever.

In case you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past week - a numbers recap. Heather Mills reckons her not quite 4 year marriage to be worth as much as 60 mill (for the sake of the baby and all). Macca, guarding his 825 million fortune with his life begs to differ, claiming Heather could easily live on half that sum. What a stingey wingey meany poo Beatle. Only 10 mill for a simple Geordie lass like Heath? A girls gotta eat!

So the battle commences, with plucky Heather representing herself in court while Macca, fearing a rinsing pulls up with the big guns (i.e the best legal team money can buy). Cue impassioned, teary speeches from Lady Mucca about why she deserves every penny. The torture of being labelled ‘gold digger’ by the press is certainly a cross to bear. (Nobody could have foreseen that). But Macca's men will be thrashing back, claiming his fortune was earned before he even met Mills. Meaning? She's entitled to sweet diddly squat.

Celebs eh. Never a thinner line between love and hate did exist. But still they get hitched in their droves...Fools love, or fools gold? Let the Macca -Mucca affair be a lesson to them all.

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