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'Men my age are fat and bald'

Queen of Pop Madonna has explained why it is she and her extremely muscular thighs have got to grips with a succession of toy boys easily young enough to be her son. Apparently it’s because men her age are fat and balding, which just isn’t fair – plenty of men half her age are fat and balding too.

Fifty-one-year-old Madge said recently that men half her age were ‘more adventurous, open and fun’, while men her age are ‘usually married, divorced, grumpy, fat and balding.’ So, normal men not good enough for you eh? It’s almost like she’s a some sort of preposterously famous pop star or something, with buns that could crack a walnut. Speaking of which, she explains why she’s not let herself get a bit podgy round the edges

‘If I'm not in good shape, then how can I dance around on stage with my butt hanging out, right?’ That would be a loss for everyone, wouldn’t it?

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