Mel B joins America's Got Talent

America’s Got Talent; Britain's got feisty, middle-aged members of an embarrassing on-off girl group from the 90s who refuse to grow old gracefully. Mel B has the last laugh though as she has just landed a gig as a judge on the US’s primetime talent show.

Mel’s guest stint on the X Factor last year obviously served as an audition. Rather than realising that her own meagre ability should persuade her to be charitable to wannabes who were only marginally more talented than her, Mel waded into the hapless nobodies, even sneering at one youngster who said he was a big Spice Girls fan. Actually she had a point in that instance as the lad obviously had no musical taste or discernment.

Cuddly old Louis Walsh was somewhat disconcerted by Mel’s vitriol, calling her "Grumpy Spice" and begging: "Mel, be nice." She obviously realised that the Spice Girls reunion was doomed and that she had to carve out a new career. She joins shock jock Howard Stern and American generic TV person Howie Mandel for the new series, replacing another opinionated Brit, Sharon Osbourne.

Osbourne had been a judge on the show for six years but walked away from her NBC contract in solidarity with son Jack. Jack, who has multiple sclerosis, had been dropped from what sounds like an excruciating reality show called Stars Earn Stripes, which seems to involve C-list celebs briefly joining the army. "It was discrimination," Sharon claimed about a decision that seems merely to have been sensible. "It was badly handled. It is time to move on."

Osbourne has been trying to build bridges with Simon Cowell ever since she made that rather personal comment about him suffering from "small penis syndrome". Now she is available again, a return to the panel of the UK X Factor seems almost inevitable, and would show that Cowell is, well, big enough to forgive and forget.

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