Madonna is set to pay ex-husband Guy Ritchie over £60m in what will be the most expensive divorce settlement in British history. The mockney director is set to land £20m in cash, the Punchbowl pub in Mayfair and the former couple's £20m country estate in Wiltshire.

The payout looks set to beat the paltry £23m that Heather Mills got from Paul McCartney. But it's small change for Madge, who has been fooling idiots to pay £120 a pop for her terrible concerts for so long now that she has amassed an estimated fortune of over £450m.

So it wasn't a bad day at the office for Ritchie who is set to blow his windfall on Chas and Dave's back catalogue and Dick van Dyke's chimney sweep outfit from Mary Poppins.