Lindsey Lohan. Not Winning. At All

So Lindsey Lohan continues to be the bad girl of both the media and the blogosphere until someone more convincing in the role comes along.

There is something tragic about her antics and penchant for prison cells – and not tragic in an Amy Winehouse kinda way. No – tragic in low self esteem, uncharismatic and pointless kinda way.

This week she hit the news in a textbook non story as she finally thanked genuine nutter and proper bad boy Charlie Sheen for giving her $100,000 towards her tax bill. Old Tiger Blood himself – or Winning McWinning as he is known to his pals and most of the hookers in LA - took pity on Frau Lohan recently when she got slapped with a giant tax bill. Instead of donating the cash to an orphanage somewhere or keeping it for a rainy day in case his career never resurfaces, he gave it to a far more deserving cause. The Lindsey Lohan Fund.

Problem was – she was too busy crawling on the wannabee wild side to say thanks. Sheen dropped a chiding note into a recent interview – saying "I'm still waiting for a text to say 'Thank you,' or anything, you know?"

Days later – flowers and a card winged their way Winningwards along with the laughable suggestion that Lindsey’s ‘phone had been broken’. A classic twist on the ‘dog ate my homework’ routine, this has to rank as one of the most feeble excuses going and possibly shines some light on why she keeps getting banged up. If she’s that useless at excuses – it’s no wonder.

In other Lohan related non news – she is apparently seeking a spiritual advisor to help keep her out of prison. This would instantly go under the ‘who cares – typical Hollywood’ section if it wasn’t for the horrifying thought that we might all be subjected to pseudo spiritual, motivational claptrap in the not too distant future as Lohan reinvents herself. God help us all.

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