Lily Allen? ****ing b****

Comic, TV chat show host and friend of that God awful beardy wurzel bloke (what’s his name again? You know the one we mean) Alan Carr has let rip at Lily Allen in a foul-mouthed rant, after she cancelled an appearance on his show Chatty Man only two hours before she was due to appear, claiming she was ill.

According to Carr it’s the second time that she’s left him the lurch like this, and by Jove is he not happy about it. Some have suggested that this means she is pregnant, but her spokesperson denied that rumour, so why is she dropping out of personal appearances like this?

‘I heard at four o'clock this afternoon that Lily Allen's pulled out, so that's the second time she's pulled out on the day with two hours to go,' said Carr. 'So I don't know what's wrong with that f****** bitch.

‘I don't know if it's a vendetta, I don't know whether she hates me or it's because I'm gay, but the way I'm buzzing now I could f****** slap her.’

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