Like a virgin

Remember how Jordan scooped up a trembling Gareth Gates and showed him a thing or two about the big wide world? Well the same fate may be in store for X Factor virgin Joe McElderry. Apparently, Jordan talked to him after the X Factor final - actually exchanged words - and now speculation is rife that this may lead to a future cherry popping.

Yes, the inevitable media scrutiny has forced a confession out of 18 year old Joe: he's never done 'it' before. 'I'm straight. I haven't slept with anyone, but I'm concentrating on my music,' said the popstar munchkin. Bless.

Does Joe fancy someone else? Or is the huge breasted, botoxed, divorced, glamour-model mum of three just not his cup of tea? (Impossible.) We think he's got the hots for Cheryl Cole. Joe has denied it calling them 'just friends' but if there's not a spark between the two lovable Geordies then, erm, we won't think Geordies are quite as nice as their accent makes them sound.

'Cheryl is a stunning-looking woman but, as I got closer to her, she became a friend. Once I got to know her she wasn't like the image you see on telly. She's very down-to-earth and we share a lot in common,' he said. Erm Joe, those are usually the ingredients for fancying someone. Come on, make a move, before Jordan makes a move on you....

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