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Kim prepares for the big day

Kim Kardashian is getting married this weekend, at the home of the former Google chief. The Santa Barbera mansion is worth over $20m, and is spread over 20 acres. Not that any of the plebs will be able to enjoy the multi-million property, as we haven't been invited. Harumph. Kim has decided to commit the ultimate cardinal sin in her wedding preparations, of asking her friends and family to wear white to the bash.

Kim told The Daily Mail, 'I get really uncomfortable when it's all about me, so I kind of want to share that experience with everyone so that there aren't like, all eyes on me.' Yes, we imagine that Kim absolutely and completely despises people looking at her. After all those years of filming reality shows, Kim just wants to settle down and work in a library, but people keep forcing her out in public wearing skin-tight attire. Poor love.

A source said, 'Kim knows better than anyone how to stay dramatic and there is no way she would let herself blend in with everyone else at her wedding by wearing a white dress. If I know her, I bet she will wear red or some colour so she pops against everyone else who will be in black or white. When Kim walks down that aisle, she knows she will have the eyes of the world on her. This will be the biggest moment of her life and she is going to make sure she gives everyone something to talk about. Nothing would do that more than shocking folks with a splash of colour.'

Yes folks, prepare yourselves for a shock, the kind of shock that only seeing someone wearing a splash of colour can produce...

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