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Katy Perry 'prayed for big boobs'

Is Katy Perry a genuine human being? Her recent behaviour suggests that she is little more than an android built to do nothing but titillate hormonal teenage boys by showing off and talking about her (quite impressive, admittedly) norks.

Here she is again, going on about how she prayed to her robot god as a young ‘un for her magnificent bosom, and that she skips before every gig to make sure the bra-busters don't spill out and give everyone a nice surprise.

‘I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet,’ she said. ‘Eventually that request was granted.

‘A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of Press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping.

‘I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own.’

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