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Kate due date clashes with Queen's party

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Royalists had a glorious summer in 2012, at least royalists who enjoy watching an endless line of boats going past in teeming rain. Now they have another date for their diary. July 13th has been leaked as the date when the Duchess of Cambridge is expected to deliver the third in line to the throne (happily pushing Prince Harry one step further away from the seat of power).

Turns out this is awfully inconsiderate family planning from Kate and Wills. It clashes with the four day Coronation Festival that marks 60 years since the Queen was crowned. It seems that the monarch cannot let any anniversary slip by without a huge bash. Kate will have to miss out on that one, although it remains to be seen what excuse Prince Philip can contrive to avoid showing up.

Due to the medical concerns at the start of the pregnancy, there has been some reticence about the exact stage of the pregnancy, much to the distress of the kind of people who care about such things. Although as the baby will immediately add to the burden of state support handed out to royals, perhaps the public has a right to know.

Friends of the Cambridges let slip the date to the Mail on Sunday. "Some of Kate and William’s closest pals were at a barbecue hosted by a family friend of the Royals recently," an insider said. "They were all discussing the fact that Kate’s baby is due to be born on July 13. Everyone was very excited."

Speculation continues surround the sex of the imminent prince or princess. Amateur detectives noted that Kate purchased a pale blue buggy, the Bugaboo kind beloved of the yummy mummies of Kensington and Chelsea, encouraging those who were betting that the child will be a boy. The Palace was as stiffly keen on protocol as ever: "We have only said that the Duchess is due in July," they responded. "Anything further would be speculation."

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