Jonathon Ross ; Piers Morgan is 'sculpted from lard'.

Oh goody. A bitchy nasty spat involving two wordalicious, venemous, and amazingly overpaid TV presenters.

Piers Morgan has been forced to 'defend himself' after Jonathon Ross branded him a 'waste of space, sculpted from lard' and not fit to judge Britain's Got Talent, during an interview on the Charlotte Church Show. Wossy also laid into poor defenceless Amanda Holden, questioning how someone as pointless as her could possibly judge a talent show. During the show (in which it wasn't clear who was interviewing who) Wossy also told Charlotte to 'fuck off' after she accused him of being an old bast*rd, and slipped in an anecdote about a kitten once swinging off his balls.

Not one to shy away from a savage brawl with an old friend, Piers Morgan has since clambered on his soapbox and gone at it full throttle in the Daily Mail. Piers implies, in not so many words (actually in a lot of very direct words) that ever since leaving the publishing world and getting famous on the telly Jonathon has become a big wibbly gween eyed monster intent on Piers' televisual destruction.

"Since I left the editing world and began working in television, Jonathan has started behaving rather oddly towards me. Barely a month goes by without him making some snide little dig, either on his own show or someone else’s. Normally I’d just laugh this kind of personal abuse off...."

But. The pair are going head to head in rival chat shows ; and where ratings are concerned, no publicity is bad publicity. "In contrast to his (Ross's) sycophantic, smarmy, simpering and increasingly lecherous interview technique, I intend to actually ask some proper journalistic questions" says Morgan. Ouch.

Will the £18 million Beeb luvvy say 'sowwy' and 'make fwends make fwends, never eva bweak fwends' with his old pal, or is this the start of a deliciously vicious ratings feud?

Check out Jonathon Ross on The Charlotte Church Show.

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