Jodie Foster doesn't quite come out at Golden Globes

Hollywood reporters worked themselves up into a collective frenzy of excitement as their hive brain decided that Jodie Foster had used her Golden Globes acceptance speech as an opportunity to "come out" as gay for the first time in public. By seizing on this notion they exposed their own inability to listen to what she actually said.

Foster’s sexuality has hardly been a secret, and the actress was not the kind of person to make a big deal of announcing it in front of her peers. Previous host Ricky Gervais made gags about it in 2012, and Foster laughed. This year her acceptance speech for the Cecil B De Mille award poked fun at media intrusiveness.

"I guess I have a sudden urge to say something that I've never really been able to air in public," she teased. "But I'm just going to put it out there, right? Loud and proud, right? So I'm going to need your support on this. I am single. Yes I am, I am single."

She added that she would not be making a dramatic coming out, because it was hardly necessary. "I hope you're not disappointed that there won't be a big coming-out speech tonight because I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago back in the Stone Age," she said, "in those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends and family and co-workers and then gradually, proudly to everyone who knew her, to everyone she actually met."

As reporters frantically whispered "Is she sayin’ . . . ?" she laughed at their need to know. "Now I'm told, apparently that every celebrity is expected to honour the details of their private life with a press conference, a fragrance and a prime-time reality show. No, I'm sorry, that's just not me. It never was and it never will be."

Most definitely not a coming-out announcement then. The following morning the press was full of headlines saying "Jodie Foster comes out at Golden Globes". And thus the print media scurries ever more enthusiastically towards its death.

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