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Jessica Simpson : big boobs win prizes

So Jessica Simpson's not just a 'bitch and a whore' she's actually the holder of a much sought after title. One in which she beat thousands of others to......by way of a giant set of chest puppies.

That's right, Jessica Simpson Simpson's bangers have been crowned 'The Best In Hollywood', by pro boob watchers The Sun. The accolade was awarded after Simpson was papped out on the town looking like a sausage wrapped in clingfilm with two nobbles poking out the top. The nobbles were her boobs, and Sun officials promptly pronounced her Queen of The Cleavage.

Simpson left a line of charlatans cowering in her wake. Younger sister Ashlee Simpson was knocked out after it was decided she had an unfair handicap on her side - pregnancy. Top Milf Angelina Jolie was also denied the crown on the grounds of double insemination, and Posh Spice's over siliconed set, 'too stiff'. (We made the last part up.) Round of applause to Jessica's boobs.

And commiserations to Elle Macpherson. Simpson is copying Elle's launching her own Intimates underwear range in America this year - a direct rival to The Body's multi million dollar stranglehold on the brand. Big booby war on the horizon?

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