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'I've got the best job in showbusiness'

When Charlie Sheen went slightly (okay, incredibly) toto earlier this year, producers of Sheen's show, 'Two and a Half Men' went from probably thanking the eccentric star for incresing ratings. However, as Sheen developed a full-blown psychosis, the producers started hunting out a replacement, and alighted upon the pretty, but dumb face of Ashton Kutcher. 'Two and a half men' is now poised to hit our screens, and the promotional machine is rumbling along.

Ashton told The Daily Mail, 'I've never probably in my 13 years in show business received more phone calls and e-mails from people congratulating me on this job. You'd almost think I won the lottery or something, which I kind of did. I've got the best job in showbusiness, and I am ecstatic about that. 'I can't replace Charlie Sheen, but I'm going to work my ass off to entertain the hell out of people!'

Charlie is clearly not overjoyed at being replaced by Kutcher. When the news was announced he said, 'Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer ... Oh wait, so am I!! Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there.' Ouch.

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