It would have happened in the old days

Over the last few years few things have been as nauseating as ‘The Hoff’ revival by post-modern student bells, who develop cramp in their faces due to their permanently raised eyebrows. May the Lord smite them down every time they incorrectly use ‘random’ when describing something that’s a bit different.

The terrible post-script to all this David Hasselhoff love is the unpleasant peak into the man’s private life and obvious alcoholism, as was evidenced by the deeply troubling video of the Hoff laying on his carpet, small child nearby, so drunk he couldn’t even eat the cheeseburger he’d bought to slake his alcohol-induced hunger. An awful scene for all concerned. However, despite his spell in rehab, he still seems very much in the grip of his addiction, complaining that in the old days it would have been hushed up, as if that was any better.

‘Back then things were different,’ he moaned to Bunte Magazine in Germany. ‘Back then every star smoked and drank. Think of Richard Burton or Humphrey Bogart. But nobody scrutinised them. Every kind of consumption was normal. I knew as soon as I went into rehab, my reputation would be ruined.’

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